Citadel Almaty
Secret Space for Cuddle Parties
There is one place in Almaty that I love the most: Citadel. It’s a cozy, welcoming space where tea ceremonies, cuddle parties, and other unique events take place. I primarily go there for the cuddle parties. For the past two years, I’ve been attending at least one every month. These gatherings give me a sense of connection, community, and belonging.
A cuddle party is a 4-hour (sometimes 6-hour) event focused on non-sexual touch and emotional presence. Each one begins with a sharing circle where participants talk about their current feelings and intentions. After that, we engage in a series of guided exercises that help us practice consent, awareness, and communication.
One of the first exercises is done in pairs, where each person offers something and then asks for something, and the other must say “no.” This helps us normalize hearing and saying no in a respectful way. Another practice is called “gardener and flower.” In this one, the “flower” receives care and attention from the “gardener.” For instance, the flower might ask the gardener to rub their shoulders or hold their hand.
I remember feeling nervous the first time I attended — I didn’t know what to expect. Now, however, I feel happy, safe, and relaxed whenever I walk through Citadel’s doors.
To join, every participant must complete a short video interview beforehand. Most parties are held in Russian, but if there are enough English speakers, Alyona — the host— can conduct the event in English as well.
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